The first night back in Singapore, I was slightly disoriented and couldn’t fall asleep until 3+ a.m. Flying in on the last flight from Bangkok, it was already past 1 a.m. by the time I reached home. I popped over to Piggy’s room for a late-night chat, after which I decided to bunk in his room to share the air-con—a childhood habit that saw either one of us “sleeping over” in the other’s room so as not to waste the air-con. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor wasn’t comfy, so I returned to sleep in my own bedroom—and found myself a stranger on my old bed. The mattress and pillows were too soft, and the blanket too thin, and I tossed and turned several times before finally hitting slumber land.
It was a rather weird feeling. Everything at home was exactly as when I left it more than three years ago, yet it felt oddly strange and familiar at the same time. Guan Gong and my late grandparents are still keeping watch over the house from the altar; I can still remember the exact drawer to retrieve my art scissors; I will naturally prop my legs up on the table when seated on the sofa; a photo of my 18-year-old self still stares back at me…. This is home, where I spent over 20 years of my life. At the same time, home is also Bangkok, the little pad that mr;p and I had spent the past nine months decorating and living in. Despite the short time (and impending departure), we’ve become attached to our apartment and I almost couldn’t remember what it felt like to stay in the previous rented place. Sometimes I feel that I’ve never left Singapore, other times I feel like I’ve lived in Thailand my entire adulthood. Where is home?
Three plus years since embarking on the Tomyamland adventure, I’m none the richer nor wiser but I’m happy and contented with what I have now. What I may be lacking in money, I think I’m being paid back by having such great folks as my loved ones. I miss my shopping jaunts with my quirky mum; I enjoy talks of food and current affairs with papa; I love going out on ‘dates’ with Piggy to explore new places; and I deeply appreciate the words of encouragement and support mr;p always give me, no matter what I do. I’m very pleased that my time spent in the kitchen has paid off; I could finally help my mum to cook up a proper meal and let the brood have a taste of my cooking.
It’s cliche, but I guess home is where the heart is, where the heart finds contentment, comfort and joy.
heart warming. =) yes I have similar sentiments. Now that I have stayed here at my apt for past 3 years, my children born and grown up here, it feels more like home here yet the same in Singapore.