I like the way this article was titled – ‘Sharing a life‘. It reflected on an emerging societal trend without the moralistic undertones. For people who are quick to judge others who live together as ‘with loose morals’, think again. I dare say most couples have engaged in different degrees of cohabitation in their lives, even spending a night together (I don’t care what happens or didn’t happen behind closed doors) is considered a limited kind of cohabitation, isn’t it? Haha.
In the past, I never thought I would be living with my boyfriend one day. After meeting mr;p and eventually relocating to Thailand, living together became a natural and practical decision. Instead of saying we are ‘testing it out’, it’s more like a final check and confirmation before we proceed to the next step. It made us more prepared for marriage, and in a much more realistic manner. We don’t have the kind of ‘live happily ever after’ expectations for the future; our time together thus far gives us the opportunity to assess and understand each other’s characters, spending habits, needs etc.
In fact, sharing a life with mr;p over the past ten months has been a very enjoyable journey. There’s always someone to discuss the day’s happenings and thoughts with over dinner. Rather than discovering his bad points, I uncover more of his merits (although I’m not sure if the same can be said of me for him). Having left his family for many years to pursue his education and career, I find in him a sense of maturity, sensibility and independence not shown by many Singaporean males.
I asked mr;p if he would allow our children to live together with their partners before marriage. We both agree that we won’t object as long as they have finished their education and are earning their own money.
6 Comments
June 5, 2009 at 9:27 am
as they say, would you buy a car without test driving it first?
June 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm
nice post! i agree with you. it’s just quite impractical in singapore. at least i have my own place now. =)
June 5, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Haha yeah testing the car is very important, since one gets no refund but lots of grievances if it’s faulty
Anyways, how did you let your parents know about your living arrangement with mr;p? I haven’t, uh, found the chance to let my parents know that I’m living with the boy…………………
June 5, 2009 at 11:58 pm
tps: haha, the car theory does makes sense. anyway, before we invest in a car, we already know the car types that we like and we probably did a lot of research beforehand…
jsj: i just told my parents frankly before i came over. you’ve been living overseas for several years, i’m sure your parents by now should trust that you are able to make wise, informed decisions for yourself?
kitty: i remember your blog post about SG’s lack of studio apartments; living apart from one’s parents is good for training one’s character. yeay! glad you have your own pad, cool~~~
June 9, 2009 at 9:37 am
jet, surely your parents must know? hehe, a don’t ask, don’t tell policy?
June 9, 2009 at 3:03 pm
They don’t know! When they were talking about coming to visit over CNY, I offered to put them up in a nice hotel near my workplace. They were like, why can’t we stay at your place? I wish I had the courage to tell them then that I didn’t have my own place…………..
They won’t ever ask. So I won’t ever tell.